Unthinkable
by Sweet Neo Baby
Summary: A Kill Bill version of Crash Bandicoot. Changes have been made from the previous version. I wrote the thing on , and decided to copy them to here, since after I get with posting on there, I'll be deleting my account. You'll note that some things are a little off at the end. Sorry for that. Hope everybody enjoys the stories. :)
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first fan fic, so please be gentle with me in reviews. Also, the damsel-in-distress is just that. (Plus I love her name.) Enjoy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Prologue:

Unthinkable. Unbelievable. The very notion of doing this to me.

You'd think she would have known.

That was on my mind before I took her life.

But before that moment, things were pretty crazy.

Pretty crazy, indeed...

Chapter 1: Genesis of Revenge

It started out as any other day. I was on the beach,just digging around in the sand...

When I felt my head getting slammed into the ground.

I pushed myself up, ready to fight...

"Crash!"

No...

It couldn't be...

I looked to my left...

And there she was.

My lover of 15 years.

Screaming for me.

I struggled valiantly to save her.

When I received a fatal blow to my skull.

I was blacking out.

"Crash! Crash!"

Then... I fell into unconsciousness.

For a long time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

That's it for now. More to come!


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the second chapter. A few curse words, just to warn everybody. Damsel's identity revealed here! Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 2: Revival and Outrage

4 months.

4 MONTHS.

I was comatose for 4 MONTHS. Completely comatose.

When I FINALLY came to, I was in absolute shock. I screamed, I yelled.

I looked around.

Pulse rate system, white walls, thin curtains that could hide my bed.

I was in a hospital.

I felt relieved. I was glad to alive.

But suddenly, images of what had happened came flooding through my head.

The people who tried to kill me.

The force they used to try.

And then...

"Crash!"

Her terrified scream.

My lover. My soulmate.

Gallina.

They had Gallina.

And they took her from me.

Reunited after 15 years...

And they took her from me.

...

No.

NO.

Not again.

I WILL take her back.

And I will DESTROY the ones who took her from me.

I swear I will.

"Crash!"

I looked to my left. My sister, Coco, stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

I sighed with a little peace in my heart. I held out my arms toward her.

She ran to me and we hugged while she sobbed in my hospital gown.

"Crash... I thought I was going to lose you..." She said.

"It's okay. I'm alive and well, Sis... Physically."

Coco pulled away, her eyes dry. She looked at me with a face full of concern. "Just physically? What could be wrong mentally of emotionally?"

"Those bastards that did this to me..."

She wasn't even fazed by the fact that I cursed. "What about them?"

"They have her."

Coco looked stricken. "...Gallina?"

"Yes." Then, unexpectedly, I burst into tears.

Coco held me as I sobbed.

"Why-why would they-take her-she's innocent-why-WHY?!"

"I wish I knew." Coco said sympathetically.

I cried for a little longer. Then I straightened up. "I know one thing."

Coco looked wary. "What?"

"I know they won't get away with it. I will get Gallina back. And I will avenge her. I SWEAR it."

Coco took a deep breath. "I don't normally support revenge... But this involves Gallina. Do what you have to so that she's back with you."

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Thanks. I'll leave you with Crunch so that you'll be protected. I'll return as soon as Gallina's safe with me."

Coco nodded. "Be careful. Take as long as you need."

I hugged her once more. "Hopefully it won't be long."

As soon as recovery came to me, I set out to get Gallina back.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Done and done! For those reading this, it was once on , but I felt more comfy with this site. (and obviously the damsel's name changed;only because her new name was prettier and more appropriate to this story.) And it will be completed this time. I promise. Read and review, please. More to come tomorrow!


	3. Chapter 3

Third chapter! More cursing here. Also, Crash is a little merciless here. The ones in his path, by the way, are characters I hate in the games. Enjoy! (I hope)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 3: First Target

I listened to the roaring waters beside me as I rode in the rickety old boat to the city island.

But unfortunately, I was inconsolable at the moment.

Revenge can block peace from one's heart for a long time.

And my revenge was extremely hard to bear.

I recalled in my mind the ones who tried to take my life. I had made a list of them, most worthless and easiest to find first- all deserving of revenge.

My first?

Pinstripe Poteroo. And his bitch of a wife, my ex-girlfriend, Tawna- who also tried to kill me on that fateful day.

He was too easy to locate- the city island that's exactly 50 miles away from my home island. The name of the city? N. Sanity City.

He was a used car salesman. And his bitch was a stripper. (Surprise, surprise.)

I came to destroy them both at the same time, a sunny day at his dealership.

He was finishing up with a customer, his bitch by his side...

When they spotted me.

Both were beyond shocked to see me.

When the customer left, I drew my sword.

(How did I come to possess a sword? I'll answer that later.)

"How the hell did you live?" Pinstripe exclaimed.

"We beat your ass to a pulp... How the hell..." Tawna added, still in shock.

"It takes a lot more than some cheap shots to kill me." I said.

With that, I kicked Pinstripe out of the way, and struck Tawna right through her chest.

All that came out of her was a gargled scream. Then she fell to the ground, lifeless.

Pinstripe was blisteringly mad. But before he could get his machine gun to retaliate, I punched him, kicked him, and slammed his shins to make him fall to the ground.

When his back was against the earth, I pierced him through the chest, too.

I looked at the two corpses, feeling a bit triumphant.

But no satisfaction.

I went off back to the boat.

I checked my list:

Vengeance List

1. Pinstripe Poteroo and Tawna [Now crossed out]  
(Shark and Adorawhorable)

2. Nefarious Tropy  
(Fear Keeper)

3. N. Trance  
(Poser)

4. Dingodile  
(Party Killer)

5. Madame Amberly Trescott  
(Headmaster Bitch)

Tropy was next. But he would be as easy.

Living the life of villainy can be shocking. It convinces you that somehow the life you've chosen is the greatest kind of life, no matter how sadistic your character... or how dark your past.

But when one has determined to become king of the Russian underworld, one cannot keep his sanity nor protect his secret past, can one?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Finished! Sorry for the lame city name;couldn't think of any other name. Under the actual names on the list, by the way, are codenames. Fourth chapter is gonna be kinda lengthy,so be prepared. More tomorrow!


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter covers my version of Tropy's beginnings. Kinda graphic here, with extras that are not in the series. Also, it's lengthy. And I don't go into detail about some situations here. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 4: Tropy's Origin

Dr. Nefarious Tropy was born at an American military base in Moscow, Russia. The half Russian, half Slovakian, American scientist made his first acquaintance with death at the tender age of 9, when he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents at the hands of the most notorious crime boss in Russia, Boss Kutanski.

And after his parents were killed, they set the house they lived in on fire.

Somehow, Tropy survived.

He swore revenge.

Luckily for him, Boss Kutanski was a gay pedophile.

At 11, he got his revenge. After killing Kutanski, he wiped out the rest of his clan.

By 20, he was the top assassin in Russia.

At 25, he assisted in my near death- including being responsible for the disappearance and possible kidnapping of my soulmate.

However, that day, he made one fatal mistake.

He should have succeeded.

After he assisted, Amberly backed him financially and philosophically in his conquest to becoming top dog in Russia.

There was a war with many clans over who would rule vice in the underworld of Russia. After he helped Amberly, it was Tropy and his clan, the Warnotts, who proved victorious.

Before I go any further, let me describe Tropy's clan.

At the counsel table, to Tropy's left is his lawyer, second-in-command, and best friend, Tony Pultz- another protege' of Amberly's.

The girl in back, also to Tropy's left, is 17 year old Kiki Bomber. Kiki may be young, but what she lacks in age, she makes up for in madness.

She once killed a man because he didn't hit on her the way she wanted him to.

Mad chick.

The man in back to Tropy's right is Bobo Nuckers, the general of Tropy's personal army, the Warnotts.

Now, in case you're wondering, how could a half Russian, half Slovakian, American be king of clans in Russia?

I'll tell you.

The subject of Tropy's ethnic background came up only once the night Tropy assumed leadership.

The man across the table who seems bound and determined to break the celebratory mood is Boss Tikamon.

And what Boss Tikamon thinks is...

(what is said by them is in Russian translated in English)

(slams his plate across the table)

Boss Kochu: Tikamon! What is this anger for? This is a night of celebration!

B.T.: And what are we celebrating? The perversion done to this counsel?

Boss Noka: How dare you! You disrespect our brother! Apologize!

Tropy: (claps his hands) Tikamon, of what perversion do you speak?

B.T.: Our forefathers started this counsel. And while you all laugh like stupid donkeys, shame is brought to their names!

B.N.: Outrageous! You bastard! (throws cup at B.T.)

B.T.: (throws cup back) Son of a bitch!

T: Gentlemen! (slight pause) Tikimon obviously has something on his mind. By all means, let him speak.

B.T.: The perversion done to this counsel... which I love... more than my own children... is making a half Russian half Slovakian American prick it's leader!

(Tropy steps onto the table, walks over to Tikimon, and slices his head off. Counsel gasps and lapses into silence.)

T: So that you know how serious I am... I'm going to say this in English. (draws sword on table) As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If a particular course of action is against sound reasoning, tell me so. But allow me to convince you, and I promise you this here and now, that no subject will be taboo... Except the subject previously discussed. The price you pay for bringing up my heritage as a negative is;I collect your frickin' head. Just like this sucker here.  
Now if any of you sons of bitches, have anything else to say, NOW IS THE TIME! (slight pause) I didn't think so. Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned. (all translated into Russian by Tony)

Tropy was next on my list. But before that, I needed training and a good sword.

Now about my sword...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Done at last! Sorry for no details about certain situations in this chapter. It's long enough, believe. Also, sorry for the delay; I worked my brain into a pulp yesterday, and could not type. I'd REALLY like some reviews, please! Fifth chapter tomorrow!


	5. Chapter 5

Number five! This one's a bit dramatic, more heart, more emotion. I thought a heartfelt chapter would be good before the final chapter. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 5: Reunion with the Old Man

I entered into the lair warily.

As usual, he was hard at work.

Neo Cortex is forever experimenting. Science is his life. (now...)

I hoped he could help me.

He stopped when he heard me stepping in.

"Welcome..." He started to say, but, upon looking at me, continued, "and my day was actually going smoothly." He gave an exasperated sigh.

"Relax, Old Man, I'm not here to fight you." I told him.

"Then why are you here?" He asked... actually, demanded.

"... I need meteorite formed into a sword." I said seriously.

He looked me straight in the eyes, shocked. "... Why?"

"Because I have vermin to kill."

"You must have sizable rodents to need that strong a sword."

I leaned in close. "Gigantic."

He nodded. "Come with me."

He led me to an almost empty room. But off to one side...

Samurai swords.

Dozens of them.

They were so...

Beautiful.

I approached one of the racks.

I started to reach...

And stopped short. I looked at Cortex... "May I?"

He gave a small smile. "You may."

I reached for one with a red handle, but-

"Crash."

I looked at him.

"Try the one with the black handle."

I reached for it, and drew it out of it's sheath.

Lustrous shine. Blade was perfectly sharpened. Lightweight.

I hated putting it back.

"Incredible, isn't it?" Cortex said.

"Very." I agreed.

"I keep these for their sentimental and aesthetic value. But as for using and making them? (sighs) You well remember that I no longer live as a villain. Nor do I make instruments of destruction. Hence, from those works..."

"... I have retired."

Poor man.

"... Then give me one of these." I said.

"They are not... for sale."

"I didn't say 'sell me'. I said give me."

"... Why should I help you?" He said somewhat vehemently.

"Because the vermin I must destroy is your former master. And considering the master... I'd say you have a rather large obligation."

He looked disheartened.

"... Amberly?" He asked quietly.

I nodded.

He looked crushed.

He walked to the door.

"You can sleep here. It will take me a month... to make the sword. I suggest you spend it practicing."

"... Thank you."

* * * * * * * * *

1 month later...

* * * * * * * * *

He came out of the basement with it.

Held it gently.

It looked absolutely incredible.

He inspected it carefully, making sure it was as sharp and intricate as possible.

Then he returned it to it's sheath.

"I have finished doing... what I promised to stop doing... and remembered that this was my best profession. Yet, it is still, 'something destructive'. I did this, however, because I know the intense pain of a beating just because you are hated. In that sense, I am sympathetic to your aim."

He looked at me solemnly.

"I can say without ego, this is my finest sword. Capable of penetrating any substance. My best of all."

"And now, my son, Go."

He handed me the sword.

"Thank you, my father." I said fervently.

Next stop, Russia.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Done! Sorry again for the delay; worked too hard to type again. Final chapter will up soon!


	6. Chapter 6

This is it, folks! The conclusion! (?) This one is pretty long, longest of all the chapters. And you'll read a few lines from Kill Bill in this. (Sorry for the rip-offedness of it all.) I have one more thing to say, but it will have to wait until after the story. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 6: Showdown at the Hususaski House

After my flight, I hopped onto my beloved motorcycle and headed for the biggest restaurant, club, and lounge, The Hususaski House.

On my way, I spotted a 2014 Corvette speeding down the highway next to me.

Pretty nice ride for the Russian culture.

We stopped at the next light.

I caught a glimpse of the driver.

I cringed.

Tony Pultz.

I flashed back again to my fateful day of darkness.

Before I blacked out, I saw him.

Talking on his cell phone.

Smirking at my demise.

And now he was on his phone. Again.

Guess every rat bastard has his trademark.

Why was I headed to the Hususaski House?

Tropy (my next target) was having another celebration there.

When I arrived, the place was crowded and busy.

Then I saw him.

Tropy was entering in, his posse following, along with a few Warnott members.

I kept hidden.

When they shut themselves in a private room, I sneaked slowly over to the door.

But I wasn't quiet enough.

I heard someone running to the door and running fast.

Quickly, I jumped up and clung to the ceiling like a spider.

Good timing. Kiki Bomber came out with a dagger.

She looked around slowly.

I was losing my grip.

She looked around once more.

Then headed back into the private room.

I got back to the floor gently and quietly.

Then headed downstairs to the men's room to change into my battle suit.

There it was.

That too familiar ring tone.

I opened my door just a crack.

Tony Pultz.

...

Time for the showdown to begin.

...

"Nefarious Tropy!"

...

"You and I have unfinished business!"

His posse came out to the dining hall quick.

Then finally...

Tropy.

He looked very irritated.

I came out from behind Tony, who by now was in a lot of pain.

Tropy kept a stern glare.

I flashed back again...

Tropy, with a stern face, smirking at my pain.

...

I sliced Tony's arm off his body.

Then I approached Tropy. (At this point, all the other guest had fled.)

Tropy told the waiter behind him to scram.

He ran off fast.

Tropy tilted his head and said, "Mick."

The army brat came down and hurled himself at me.

I struck him, picked him up, with the sword still in him, and threw him into the fish pond to my left.

I looked at Tropy.

Who said...

"Tear the bastard apart!"

All six of his army brats ran down to attack me.

I sliced through each and every one of them.

I approached Tropy again.

"So Tropy... any other subordinates for me to kill?"

Kiki Bomber came out just then.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Kiki, right?" I asked.

"Bingo. And you are Crash Bandicoot." She replied, most of her words in Russian.

"Our reputations precede us."

"Don't they?" (In Russian)

"Kiki... I know you feel that you must protect your master... but I beg you... walk away."

She giggled. "You call that begging?" (In Russian)

Kiki stomped forward. "You can beg better than that." (In Russian)

She pulled out a mace.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Big weapon for a small chick.

I lifted my sword.

First attempt: Swing and a miss.

Second attempt: Swing, and a hit to my chest. (Painful.)

Third attempt: Swing, chain goes around my sword, and tosses it to the side.

Fourth attempt: Swing, slams me to the ground. (Very painful.)

I rise up.

Fifth attempt: Running swing, misses, breaks a table set.

Sixth attempt: Swing, I duck, mace goes back, ricochets off a post behind her and thwacks her skull. Falls, but recovers quick.

Seventh attempt: Swing, I duck again, but the chain coils around my neck, the mace is stuck to the wall, and she starts choking me.

She almost succeeded- until I found a table leg with nails sticking out, and stabbed her in the foot.

She yelped.

Then I slammed it into her skull.

Instant kill. Game, set, match.

Kiki falls to the ground, lifeless.

Again, I tried to approach Tropy.

Then I heard dozens of motorcycles coming to the place.

I looked at Tropy. "Is that what I think it is?"

"You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"

"You know, for a second... yeah. I kinda did.

"Silly rabbit."

"Trix are for-"

"Kids."

Bobo Nuckers came charging through. Along with all of the Warnotts.

Tropy quietly exited.

I was surrounded.

It took a while, but eventually, I sliced through all 26 of the Warnotts.

Let me tell you something.

When you're vengeful as hell...

Your kills tend to multiply quick.

The number never matters. Nor does the conscience speak.

So long as the fire of revenge is quenched.

After destroying the Warnotts, I ran upstairs.

But before I ran after Tropy...

I stood at the railing and shouted...

"Those of you fortunate enough to actually have your lives... TAKE THEM WITH YOU! However... leave the limbs you lost. They are mine now."

"...Except you, Tony!"

He looked up in fear.

"You stay right where you are."

Then I went outside.

The snow piled up in the Foronski Memorial Garden in the back of the club.

I stepped forward.

"Your sword is quite impressive."

I looked to the North.

Tropy. (Finally.)

"Where was it made?" He asked.

Pre-battle small talk.

"The Iceberg Islands." I answered.

"By whom?"

"Cortex."

"YOU LIE!"

I shook my head, and showed the famous insignia on the sword.

He sighed. "Swords, you remember, do suffer fatigue. Bearers do. I hope you saved some energy... if not... you might not last even five minutes. However as far as last looks go... you could do worse."

He bowed. Then drew his sword.

Die-hard warrior.

First cross.

I gave it my all...

But sadly he sliced me in the arm.

Deep.

I fell hard and struggled to recover.

"Silly marsupial thinks he can handle a Samurai sword." Tropy smirked.

I rose up. Slowly.

We went back to crossing.

I managed to slice his knee.

He lost his balance and staggered sideways.

We looked at each other.

"For ridiculing you earlier..."

"... I apologize."

A moment of silence.

"... Accepted."

Another silent moment.

"... Ready?"

"... Bring it."

More crossing...

More than I expected...

Then finally...

I sliced the top of his head off.

Before he expired...

His last words were...

"That really was a Cortex sword."

With that, he fell, lifeless.

I had to sit down.

Getting my baby back and avenging her was hard work.

I remembered what father (Cortex) said.

"The road of vengeance is strenuous. The weariness, as a result, is great. But the emotional weariness can take on a greater toll. Yet, vengeance must have it's completion. Hence, my son, brace up, so that you can rescue your beloved."

List Check:

Vengeance List

1. Pinstripe And Tawna  
(Shark and Adorawhorable) (crossed out)

2. Nefarious Tropy  
(Fear Keeper) (now crossed out)

3. N. Trance  
(Poser)

4. Dingodile  
(Party Killer)

5. Madame Amberly Trescott  
(Headmaster Bitch)

N. Trance, here I come.

Epilogue:

"Tony... Young Tony... How could you do this to me?" (Number 5 on the Vengeance List)  
[Amberly, to keep things simple]

"... Please forgive my betrayal."

"You know the consequences, right?"

"Yes. He let me know that."

"You just had to tell him everything, didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, Madame, I'm sorry."

"Apologies will not help you this time. I have to keep my reputation in tact. You understand."

...

"By the way, Tony..."

...

"Does he know that she has been mutated?"

I have done it! Woo! Time to break out the Smirn Off! Thank you so much for reading to the very end. Well, very end for now. Part 2 is in the works. PLEASE comment. I want to know what everyone thought. Thanks again! Ta ta for now!


End file.
